This Man Asked What He Should Do After His Fiancee Demanded He Return a Lab-Grown Diamond For a Natural One

1. Proposal Gone Wrong

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Marriage is supposed to be a joyous union between two people in love.

The proposal is stressful, but when they say "yes" both sides should be happy.

However, that wasn't the case in this story you're about to hear.

A redditor made a throwaway account to ask the community if he was the a**hole for how he reacted when his bride-to-be revealed she wasn't happy with her engagement ring.

And, well...we and all of Reddit had some strong opinions on this one...

2. When The Trouble Started

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I (30m) proposed to my (then) girlfriend (27f) of 5 years last month, it was wonderful and she said yes, and we were never happier.

Last week was when the trouble started, as she asked me how much I had spent on her ring.

3. Suspicious

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I told her that I had spent about $20,000 on it that I had been squirrling away for the last 10 years.

(When I first started saving I was planning on building a kit car but when I started seriously considering proposing I decided it was worth spending the money on the ring.)

She was initially floored that I had spent so much but later became suspicious that I had managed to get such a large stone (3.6 karats.) for the price, and asked to see the diamond certificate I got with the ring.

4. Lab Grown

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I, of course, showed it to her (I thought she was worried I had been duped into buying a fake.)

and when she saw it was lab grown she got upset that I hadn't bought her a "real" diamond.

5. Thought She Wouldn't Care

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This reaction stunned me for a couple reasons.

Firstly, I had always been open in my distaste for the natural diamond industry, and secondly because I had employed the assistance of her friends and mother and everyone agreed that she wouldn't care if the diamond was lab grown.

6. His Reasoning

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Over the last week I have explaned to her multiple times my reasons for going lab grown, (It is better for the environment, I know the exact origing of the stone, so I know it isn't a conflict stone, and ultimately it is better value for the money and I wanted to get her the most beautiful ring possible.)

and that lab grown diamonds are in every way real diamonds and that they are also indistinguishable from natural ones unless you look at their certificate.

7. She Wouldn't Have Known

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I have also pointed out that she had no clue and would have never known if I hadn't told her the price of her ring.

But she insists that she can tell a difference and it is just not the same.

8. Exchange

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Yesterday she asked me if I would be willing to exchange it for a natural stone of equivalent value.

Normally I would be happy to, but I spent months searching for the perfect ring for her and also, though value was the biggest reason for me, the idea of potentially getting a blood diamond really does sicken me.

9. Putting His Foot Down

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So I said no, and said if she wanted to give the ring back and end our relationship, that is fine, but I would not exchange it.

10. Her Reaction

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She called me an a**hole and went to stay the night with her parents.

11. Worth Being Firm On

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Since then I have received multiple texts from her friends telling me to just acquiesce and exchange the ring

(and, ultimately, I will if it means saving the relationship) but I just feel like this is something worth being firm on.

12. Reddit Responds

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This is a pretty good sign of how the actual wedding and marriage will go imo. NTA.

You're trying to look out for the world, if a "real" stone was that important to her, she probably would've brought up being against/wanting a lab created diamonds some point in your relationship.

She's being picky and should've been happy about the ring, which btw, sounds gorgeous (and I commend your effort for looking into options for so long)

Keep being a dope person. Also, I can't imagine asking my partner what they spent on a ring for me unless it was for insurance purposes or something like that.

Idk. Maybe that's just me but it feels tacky as hell.

CZT1991

13. Bigger Fish To Fry

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NTA You spent $20,000 on a ring and she isn’t happy? I think you have bigger fish to fry.

What’s going to be enough for her?

Beautiful_mistakes

14. Possible Future Demands

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NTA - I can't understand why you'd want to be with someone who is willing to actually end a relationship over a non-conflict diamond that was given to her out of love and a hope for a future together.

Mind boggling to me how much of an A H she is being.

I can only imagine what else she demands or will demand from you going forward.

uhtredsbabymama

15. Summary

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The main takeaway from this tale and Reddit's reaction to it can be perfectly summed up with this response:

"Don’t marry this woman."

Loud_Charity

16. Real Winner Here

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Instead of taking me to dinner a guy took me to his parents house so he could do laundry.

handsupamazing

17. At Least It Was Short

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Met a guy online and started messaging; after a week or so they agreed to meet for coffee.

She gets a text from her date saying he's going to be a few minutes late; could she do him a favour and get him a mug of hot water? She agrees; is a little confused, but gets some hot water and sits back down.

Guy arrives, thanks her for getting the water then reaches into his pocket and pulls out HIS OWN TEA BAG.

He looks at her and says "I hate paying for tea in places like this! They totally over charge, so I bring my own." Friend looks at the menu and sees that a tea is $1.25...Yup, guy was too cheap to spend a dollar freakin' twenty-five on tea.

Not only that, he made her get his hot water.

He also called her foolish and frivolous for spending money on "fancy coffee." Friend left, and the guy messaged her for several weeks wanting to know why.

I think the entire date lasted a total of 5 minutes.

canadian_maplesyrup

18. Awkward High School Date

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This was by far the most terrifying/hilarious date I had ever been on.

Years ago, when I was a junior in high school.

He was in college. We had been texting casually for a few weeks.

One weekend, he met my friend and I at a local concert. When it was over, the friend I got a ride from had to leave urgently.

He offered to drive me home. No big deal I guess, I needed a ride.

We went to dinner and it was very nice. Nothing weird nothing suspicious.

Then the ride home... My house was about 45 minutes away through isolated freeways in the desert.

(Accepting a ride was not my proudest moment, I admit) He talked the entire ride and it went from normal small talk to him saying that he has super powers....

He said that when he was in high school he went to an alternate dimension and couldn't find his way back.

The only way for him to find his way was to sell his soul to a merchant he found in this other dimension.

When he got back to this dimension he had super powers and could control people's emotions.

He then creepily leaned over and said "I can make you feel anything right now..." He also said he knew the four horsemen of the apocalypse and that he was going to help me during the end of the world.

At this point I was convinced I was going to end up in a garbage bag on the side of the road.

Got home safe. Never talked to him again until he was my server at a restaurant years later and was extremely awkward.

19. Choked Again

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I've got more than a few first date horror stories, but one of my favorites (and I use that term loosely) was a tinder date I went on.

So I matched with this dude, he seemed nice, and we agree to meet up at a coffee shop.

Talking is awkward but he's giving me some neckbeardy vibes.

Example: I complimented his American traditional style tattoo and his response was "Huh I didn't think girls would know anything about tattoos".

Note that this was after me talking about the tattoos I have. But whatever. It's cool.

He also tried to forcefully order for me and I just kinda was like "lol no", but I just figured whatever, he's nervous trying to show out or some shit.

Everything is still going ok until he walks me to my car. We hug, and he leans in for a kiss, I'm like whatever I don't care, that's fine, we're making out a little and I feel his hand moving up to my face, and I think "Oh, ok, he's just gonna put his hand on the back of my neck or my chin or in my hair or whatever" NOPE. I WAS WRONG. SO WRONG.

This motherf**ker decides it's a swell idea to start choking me.

At this point is would be pertinent to mention I'm a 5'8" female of average size, and he's a 6'2"+ stocky dude.

I freeze, because that's my response to threatening situations, and he leans over and whispers in my ear "Yeah, you like that? You like being daddy's little slut" and I'm just sitting there waiting for him to let go of my neck, because I am pinned against the car.

I finally manage to stammer out a "Wuh-what" and he proceeds to tighten his grip and repeat the question, to which my survival instincts are screaming SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO so I just manage to choke out "yes sir" and he lets me go.

I proceed to get the f**k out of there and chew him out after the fact.

call_me_Eeyore

20. Immediate "No Thank You"

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When he came to pick me up he got out of his truck with a beer in his hand.

That's as far as we got.

ladyintheatre

21. Fetish

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Guy told me over dinner that he had a midget fetish.

Sat through the rest of the meal to be polite.

Note that I am 5'4".

nmarie93

22. That Line Hurt Worse Than The Fracture

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I went on a Tinder date in January that went poorly.

At the end he tried to kiss me so I dodged, tripped over a curb, and broke my fibula while falling into traffic.

The guy got down in the road with me, moved my hair behind me ear and said "we could tell people that we fell in love".

mypoorbrain

23. Mayonnaise

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I met a guy in a store while on summer break from college.

He was cute and charming - asked if I wanted to meet up at a bar and watch a game.

I was 21 - so beer and a game was a perfect first date.

He picked me up and about 2 innings into the baseball game I realized he knew nothing about baseball.

After a tortuous hour of explaining some smaller things to him, he asked if I wanted to walk a few blocks to another bar that his buddy was a bartender at. We walked to a carnival/clown building.

It was a punk rock strip club. It was also a Saturday at like..5pm.

He then proceeded to buy me a drink and disappear to "go say hi to his friend".

Another drink appeared - I gave it to one of the girls. He came back after 10 minutes (I was about to call my mom for a ride home) and asked if I wanted to go to one more stop.

I declined, but he pressed - saying it was a high-class bar on the water just a few blocks away.

We walked there - and walked into an empty bar. He ordered another drink for us and excused himself to the bathroom.

I asked the bartender if he was getting off soon, told him my tale of woe, and offered him every last dime in my purse to give me a ride home.

He took pity on me and offered to call his brother to help if needed. I ended up calling my mom. She drove 45 minutes to get me and back.

This was about 8 years ago and we still call this guy Mayonnaise because he had the IQ of a condiment.

HHH_624

24. Weird Coworker

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It was with a guy I worked with.

He picked me up from my desk dressed up like Michael Jackson, including tape round his fingers and a surgical mask on his face.

He was a plump, 5'6" white guy with blond hair so somehow even weirder that he was trying to look like Michael Jackson.

ConnieC60

25. Violence Lover

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This one guy complained about how he resented that nobody would let him talk to them about the dark side of life, including violence.

I mentioned that I have a hard time watching violence against animals on tv.

(I meant reality TV shows that have stories of animals which have been abused.)

His face perked up, and he asked which TV show had violence against animals.

There was an eagerness in how he asked which creeped me the fuck out.

I left quickly. He tried to add me on social media later, but I blocked him.

BlueBerryJazz

26. Bizarre Blind Date

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A blind date set up by a friend.

I'd never met the guy, didn't know what he looked like, but I knew some basic bio stuff about him: His name's Andrea, born in Rome, works in Venice*.

He knew what I looked like, as our common friend had sent him a photo.We were to meet in a small, boutique hotel lobby at 8pm, then head to the restaurant together.

So at 8pm, I'm waiting in the hotel lobby, alone, and I get a sms from him that says he's running late, stuck in traffic. No problem. I wait.Five minutes later, a man comes up to me and we start chatting.

I explain that I'm waiting for a blind date who's running late.

He insists that I should ditch my date, join him at the bar and we'll have fun. I politely decline.

He then starts grilling me about my date, saying stuff like, "Well, what if he shows up and he's ugly?" And I'm like, "I don't care about looks, etc..." He keeps insisting that I join him at the bar and ditch my date, but finally he gets the message that I'm not convinced.

I ask him to tell me about himself. He laughs and says, "My name's Andrea," and reveals that he was born in Rome and works in Venice.It's him -- my blind date -- and he knew exactly who I was.

I asked for an explanation on why he'd tried to fool me, and he said, "If we end-up getting married, it's a great story to tell our kids." There was no second date...

neropepperpot

27. You'll Get Used To It

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I met a guy in college through a friend and thought he was funny so I agreed to go on a date.

I told him we would meet at a local bookstore because I don't like people knowing where I live at first.

First off, he's fifteen minutes late and gives me no heads up.

He spent the whole date trying to hug me/hold my hand/be close to me. I told him I don't like that...he told me "you'll get used to it." He would ask me questions about myself, my job, my major etc.

But when I would go to answer him, he would literally talk right over me about his own life.

He then asked me to play some of my favorite music.

His reaction to every song? "This is awful! Why do you like this?!" Okay.

If you think it can't get worse - wrong. His dad called him toward the end and they get into a ten minute fight.

I told him I had to go because it was getting late (at 8:30) and he asked if I was free the next day. NOPE.

28. Who Asks That?

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Went to the cinema and I felt very uncomfortable with him so said I wanted to leave ect, he then proceeds to say ' let me guess, nerves, over protective parent, wanting to leave, have you been raped before?' Date ended right there.

Who even asks that!

crypticbrunette

29. Olive Garden Encounter

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The first guy I ever met online took me to Olive Garden, wouldn't look me in the eye the entire date, and talked about how his favorite band in the world was Dave Matthews Band.

He spent most of the date, however, telling me about his "whore ex-girlfriend" who he walked in on having sex with another dude in their bed.

meowdryhepurrrn

30. Shoplifter

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He decided he wanted to go to the thrift store rather than for coffee as originally planned.

Sure, I like thrift stores, why not? The moment we got in the door, he headed straight over to the housewares section, stole a whiskey flask off the shelf, and stuck it in his pocket with a grin and a wink.

After this, he invited me back to his place with obvious high hopes.

I made some lame excuse about having to do laundry, got out of there speedily, and spent the rest of the day wondering what the hell just happened.

theregoesthelight

31. It Wound Up Working Out

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My first 'date' with my current boyfriend. We'd be casually hooking up for a while, so while this was our first date, it didn't really feel like it.

He got some tickets for a local fall event, the Land of Illusion, and thought I'd be fun to take me to a fall themed festival.

I had Googled the event and knew that it was basically just a bunch of haunted houses out in the middle of nowhere.

I hate haunted houses, but decided that if he wanted to go, I would go. We ended up having an okay time.

We only hit a couple of the houses because he got off work late.

However, what turns this into the worst date I've even been on was when we were talking about it a year or so later and he revealed that he didn't know it was haunted houses and he hates haunted houses.

We both ended up doing something we hate because we thought the other person was into it.

retivin

32. The Biggest Of Yikes

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During the date he told me he was a nurse that was on a disciplinary at work for attempting to suffocate a patient.

fredulica

33. What A Gentleman

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I recommended a beer.

She had some and threw up.

I held her hair. Fun!

34. Surprise Date

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One time I didn't know I was on a date.

Some girl friends invited me out and after awhile I picked up on some clues that there was a guy meeting us out there.

So the guys shows up and he's being kinda weird with me.

Like focusing on me. A lot. Sitting close to me.

I guess I gave my friend a weird look because she pulled me off to the side and said, "I hope you don't mind but you're his date.

He buys us all drinks if he has a pretty girl with him".

I was pretty shocked. One, I had a boyfriend.

Two, who just does that? I think I said something like, "I didn't realize you invited me out so I could be a hooker".Pretty quickly I go to make my exit.

I legit did have to work early so I used that as an excuse for leaving.

As I'm walking away the poor guy like gets up and runs after me, begging me to stay and asking what he'd done wrong.

It was heartbreaking. Like I felt so bad.

But I wasn't going to stay there and be this random dude's date and I didn't know how to tell him that his friends were just using him to get free drinks.

I was just super polite and repeatedly told him he'd done nothing wrong and I just had to be up for work at 4am so I needed to get going. I have no idea what happened after I left.

AlwaysDisposable

35. Noping Out

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I treated her to dinner and then drinks at a gay bar.

She got wasted and made out with another woman right in front of me.

She chased after me crying, as I left to go home.

She profusely apologized to me and over the next month we hung out and started to become friends, but then she made a move on me.

When I declined, she punched out the screen door and then ran into the middle of the street and laid there.

Her sister ran out of the house and chased after her.

I quietly got in my car and noped out of there.

samanthais

36. Cheap Date

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A guy asked me out for coffee once, and he didn't offer to pay for mine, so I thought "whatever, no big deal" and got out my wallet.

They weren't taking cards for some reason, and I didn't have quite enough cash.

The barista had already made the drink so he handed it to me and said "thanks" sarcastically like I was such an a**hole, while I apologized with a bright red face.

The guy who asked me out was just standing there watching, and I KNOW he had cash.

bippopotamus

37. Scary Place To Meet

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We didn't even make it to the date.

He lived about 20 miles from me and we had plans to see a movie.

He called about an hour before and said it was too far to drive would I meet him at a gas station? Nope.

Maxwyfe

38. From Formal To Gross

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He picked me up at my house and had flowers and a bottle of wine, which for me was way too formal and awkward ( I was 18 and he was 27) .

Then we went to the movies and he would not stop trying to f***er me.

I finally got so fed up about that and I had drive me home mid movie .

39. Next Top Model

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Sat through a date with a contestant on ...'s next top model (she made it to semi finals, bless her) that only talked about her dreams, her future career, the magazines she didn't want to work with because they propagated this and that.

After ending the night, myself having asked two questions and told her that I was 22 (at the time), she concluded it wouldn't work because I talked too much about myself.

I could have counted on two hands how many sentences I had spoken during 4 hours and two bottles of wine

VehaMeursault

40. False Advertising

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So many. There is one that sticks out though: met a guy online on Plenty of Weirdos, funny, respectful, bright, dash of charm and a lot of sexy.

He could punctuate and liked puns..

Bingo!!! After a few weeks of back and forth we agreed to meet for lunch at our local Thai restaurant.

I rocked up on time, he arrived 10 minutes late with no explanation.

He was very, very tall, 6'5 and tubby, double chin and thining hair.

Ok, so he doesn't look like his avi, never mind thought me.

He's funny, sexy, flirty and likes puns. Fu** me backwards that man was boring.

Fourty four minutes of intricate detail about his car - a high range something or other with all the accessories and it was broken.

He talked non stop about his car and gave me the side eye when I tried to break into his monologue.

He bought me one drink, an orange juce and I had a Thai curry, he had a coke and a salad.

** THE SET MEAL AT LUNCHTIME WAS TWO COURSES, £7.65 PLUS A GLASS OF WINE.

Needless to say we didn't hit it off and parted company at 45 minutes.

Dizzygirlisdizzy

41. Did He Not Know?

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Told a guy in college that I was crushing on him, so he asked me out on a date, to a local coffee place.

He specifically used the word "date".

We get there and he brought food for himself, ok fine, that's weird but whatever.

Then he notices a girl from his calc class walked in.

"Oh my god, that's that girl from my calc class! She's so hot." He said that to me. I was like wtf.

albino_oompa_loompa

42. Show Interest In Them

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I went on a date with a guy who only talked about himself.

Anytime I'd try to get a word in on my behalf, he'd half-chuckle and go back to something in his own world.

And then he wondered why we never went out again.

If you can't show someone you have genuine interest in them, why are you even on a date?

blamethecranes

43. Thank God

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He took me to dinner, brought himself a meal and let me watch him eat it.

Kept buying me very strong drinks and getting letchy, touching me when it wasn't appropriate.

I don't remember the conversation.

I think the alcohol helped.

We left and he asked me to come back to his hotel room. I said no. Thank god. Hannargghh

44. Still Figuring Out Who He Was

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When I was younger my best friend asked me or on a date. I got excited and said yes.

On the way to the restaurant I realise there is no way I'm ever going to have romantic feelings for him.

I sit there debating whether you have to at least wait until dinner is over to say something like that.

Meanwhile in the way to the restaurant he realises that he only brought the gift card and had nothing for the waiter's tip.

So he dropped me at the restaurant and left to go find somewhere to get cash, which takes forever.

I stew about how awkward this all is and then we fumble through a strange dinner with lots of uncomfortable laughter.

About a year later when I was home from college he came out to me.

I'm still great friends with him (and now his boyfriend)

VerdePatate

45. Check Please

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Everybody has that story about the time they avoided getting into a truly awful relationship, or narrowly escaped having to deal with some extreme drama.

But these people have your story beat. Hands-down.

46. Nuts

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She was pregnant and outspokenly antivaxx.

I didn’t know she was pregnant until we were on the date, btw. She was nuts

weightmotivator

47. Feminist

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"Sports were created by men with the intention to oppress women and keep them as second class citizens."

I'm pretty damn liberal and feminist, but what the f**king f**k is that s**t?

grizzfan

48. Girlfriend?

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I went out with my next door neighbor. I didn’t know her very well even though we lived next to each other most of college.

Well the first date she took a Snapchat with me which I thought was innocent. It was the first date.

Just so happened one of the people she sent it to is a girl who pays me to tutor her in French.

It was the wildest coincidence in the world because there’s over 30,000 people at the university I went too.

Anyways whenever I went to tutor the other girl she said she saw me in a Snapchat a few nights back and didn’t realize I had a girlfriend.

Yup she took a Snapchat with me on the first date and captioned it that I was her bf.

It was super awkward ghosting someone living next door to me but I sure as heck did it and gave zero f**ks lol.

MasrInAmerica

49. That's... A Lot

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Online date, I found out on our first date she:

Lived with he ex-fiancee
Looked after his kid (that wasn't hers)

Didn't work at all
Made her living though disability fraud

Was nearly 3x the weight and twice as old as when her pictures were taken
Was looking for a man to "take care of her"

thingpaint

50. Test

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When she told me that we couldn't hang out anymore and got mad when I accepted it.

scoobydoom2

51. Literal Knife Dodged

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Was talking to this girl for a couple months in 11th grade. Didn't pan out though.

A few months go by, senior year starts, and the whole school is abuzz with talk of her being incarcerated for stabbing her boyfriend.

kithon1

52. Yikes

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Met a guy in the local nerd community, we hit it off, start becoming more than friends. He's moving too fast and I wasn't feeling it, so I end it.

A month later he disappears from social media. Three months later, still complete silence.

I got curious and started searching... Found that he'd been arrested for sexual acts with a minor.

Sparkle_Pants22

53. Boyfriend With Cancer

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Met a chick who was beautiful. In passing conversation she had said her boyfriend has cancer and she feels like it should affect her emotionally but she just didnt care. He died.

I quickly passed on that one and met the best woman ever. Ironically I now have terminal cancer and she is the best mother of our kids, wife and support life could have given me.

FatherCarp

54. Do The Math

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When she was married with children eight months after we broke up.

Spinzessin

55. Misery Loves Company

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when I realized that she had to put down every single thing I did or wanted to do because she couldn’t stand me doing better than her at anything.

she only liked me when I was as miserable as she was and would do anything to get me there

faithseeds

56. Too Fast

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Met a girl at a bar and did a drunk hookup. She wanted to meet up again and I figured okay we were both drunk so I really don’t know how she is sober.

End up going out with my buddies and their girlfriends.

She then proceeds to take a bunch of pics with them within the first half hour of meeting them and uploading them on Facebook, asks me to go spend a weekend at her parents place, and basically clinging on to me the whole night and getting pissed if I would talk to one of my buddies over her even for a quick minute.

Decided it was too much and told her it was moving too fast.

This leads to her texting and calling me every night and driving by my house everyday to see if my car was there.

Also every bar I would go to I would end up running into her. Didn’t realize this until I saw on my Snapchat that she could see where I was.

She scared the s**t out of me.

MrHimp1990

57. It Could Have Been Her

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Was in a church youth group with the catholic priest’s niece.

I was like 14 years old. Came on to me very hard, but I was really a bit immature at the time.

Six months later she was pregnant and definitely having that baby.

I would have had a very different life than I do now.

babwawawa

58. Stopped Feeling Bad

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Guy I was friends with in elementary and middle school but then had a falling out in high school over something stupid and we never reconnected.

I felt a little bad about it but then years later I saw him on the news cuz he got arrested for filming up girls skirts with a hidden camera at the CNE(a fair).

Needless to say I stopped feeling bad about our falling out after that.

Drogo88

59. Different Expectations

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This is very recent. I was supposed to go on a date with a guy only yesterday (Saturday).

I had met him on POF, chatted for about a week and a half and then planned to go for lunch.

Despite the fact I kept telling him to go slow as this was my first date since becoming single, the breakup has messed me up a bit and I was still feeling fragile etc etc, it was like I never said any of that at all.

He wanted me to French kiss him the moment I met up with him and kept saying things like "I'm gonna give you the best date so your mum is proud of me" and "I'm gonna be charming and you're gonna fall".

So it got to Friday and I realised I really didn't want to go anymore. I even posted on the Anxiety thread on here as it had set me off.

I eventually cancelled and said I think we're expecting different things from this date. He then told me he thought I was immature anyway.

Yesterday morning he sent me a message that said "Biiiittcchh!". Oh how I laughed.

Betty_Bottle

60. AC Guy

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my AC went out in my condo. The AC guy came out and ended up cutting his hand on my AC. I fixed his hand and we started chatting. He gave me his cell # and asked me out. He was quite cute, but for whatever reason I didn't go. 6 weeks later I was giving a party and the TV was on a random station.

I happened to walk by as they started a story on a serial rapist they had caught. Turned out it was the AC guy.

They said he had met several elderly women while doing house visits to fix the AC and then would go back later, break into the house, and brutally beat and rape them.

Needless to say, I was screaming at the TV ...totally sickened and flabbergasted!!! THAT was a 50 caliber BULLET DODGED!!!

texasfly

61. Cult

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When I found out he was involved in a cult and wanted to get me involved with it too.

CT_Phipps

62. Asked Out At Work

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Several years ago, a dude who was a waiter at a restaurant in the shopping center where I worked started crushing on me for a couple of weeks.

He first came up to me one day when I was in line at a drug store in the complex; I had never even seen him before then, but he started in right away with oddly persistent questions that had more to do with trying to ask me out rather than attempting to get to know me first.

I started getting nervous for some reason and hastily told him I had to go back to my store.

Well, a few days later he showed up there, and managed to corner me and ask me all the same s**t, more persistently this time.

Now, I hate it when guys try to ask me out when I'm on the job (since they're somewhat exploiting the fact that I have to be polite and attentive to people when they come in to shop),

so I put on my best fake-smiley retail face and turned him down more forcefully this time.

Not a week after that, I heard that he had been fired for instigating a shouting match which quickly escalated into a fistfight with one of the other waiters at the place where he worked. During dinner hours.

SmoreOfBabylon

63. Not Boyfriend Material

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I met a guy at a party and we hit it off. Hung out the following night and then two days later he was arrested for armed robbery.

Spent 4 years in prison. Definitely wasn't boyfriend material.

64. Gay Homophobe

Media Source

I dated a gay homophobe. She used to buy me clothes and pick out my outfits in order to keep me looking a certain way and had some serious sexual hangups.

She would often tell me it was "unacceptable" to be holding hands at events where there were children, and she refused to let me go to the pride parade because she didn't want me shoving my identity in people's faces.

I thought she was just a closet case, but after our relationship ended I realized how much she hated herself, and how much she made me hate myself. Yikes.

mydrunkpigeon

65. Witness At Future Trial

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This one guy, a sci-fi fantasy geek type about 20 years old, who used to hang around the local coffee shop.

He did sometimes appear in women's clothing, but that wasn't an issue. The issue was his insisting on talking to everyone about the 12 year old girl he was in love with (from afar).

He sat down with me one day, started in on his love obsession story, and I told him I didn't want to hear it, because I didn't want to be a witness at his trial, and I never talked to him again.

66. Last One To Find Out

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June 1, 2018. Normal day. A Friday. My husband had kissed me goodbye and gone to work.

I was cleaning the house for company who was coming to stay the weekend. The doorbell rang.

There was a man at my door who introduced himself as the husband of a woman who my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that my husband and his wife were having an affair.

He had busted them about six months prior and had told his wife that she had to end the affair.

He thinks that she did end it...for about three months, but then they started up again.

When he found out they were at it again, he called my husband (because he knew if he confronted him in person, he'd be in a jail cell for what he'd have done).

On the phone, he told my husband to leave his wife alone or else he would come and tell me everything that was happening.

Apparently, my husband thought that he was bluffing.

So I was literally the last to know. My husband never came home again. He got an air b'n'b and a lawyer. The divorce was December 21, 2018. We had been together for 24 years. Still hurts.

headcase-and-a-half

67. The Conversation

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This is almost word for word how the convo went:

Me: you sleeping with so and so

Her: yea Me: wanna divorce?

Her: kinda Me: ok I’ll file tomorrow

scm8809

68. Trust Lost

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I caught my ex sexting a chick and telling her how he missed her on my birthday.

I was young at the time and reacting with crying and yelling.

If it ever happened now I would just get up and leave.

No point in trying to mend the relationship because its near impossible to gain the trust that was lost.

spasamsd

69. App

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Husband was logged into our kid's tablet. I was scrolling through downloaded apps trying to locate whatever I was looking for, and I was able to see that apps like Grindr and the like had been downloaded by him (on his device, not the kid's).

I started paying attention to everything at that point and found a Craigslist ad he'd put up for meeting other men.

The list of awful things he's done could go on. I will never understand why a person is so okay with ruining the life of someone they 'love' just because they don't have the balls to face who they really are.

trisjohnson

70. When Was Your Last Pap Smear?

Media Source

My husband asked me — out of the blue — when my last pap smear was and if it was it normal. I told him it was a month ago, and it was fine.

I asked, 'Why did you want to know?'

'Just wondering,' he answered, and since love is blind, I left it at that.

Turns out, the woman he was sleeping with tested positive for HPV!

He wanted to make sure I didn't have it because I immediately would have suspected he was cheating. He was my first!

irule827

71. Mutual Exit Plan

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My ex told me he wanted to separate on a Tuesday. That Thursday, his friends from out of town stayed at our house, so we pretended everything was fine. On Friday night, my ex got really drunk.

When I checked on him, he fell asleep in the basement. It was 2 a.m., and he got a text from a coworker.

Seeing as it was an absurd hour to talk about work, I curiously opened the text that said, 'I just told [my husband] that it was over.'

I scrolled back and saw that the two had been secretly planning to leave their respective spouses so they could be with each other.

They’re a gross representation of a relationship stemming out of the heartbreak of both their spouses.

Turns out, they had been calling and texting each other the whole time while I sat there fighting for our damn marriage.

I confronted him about it while our guests were out at a wedding, but I still managed to put on a happy face around his friends and family all weekend long.

This guy was really finding comfort in another woman while I played the part of the sweet, welcoming wife to HIS friends. Coward.

ja5

72. Sending Pictures

Media Source

The day before my 30th birthday, my (now ex) husband was arrested for sending pictures of his penis to who he believed to be a 14-year-old girl.

Thankfully, it was an undercover agent.

Between then and when he ended up taking a plea deal to avoid prison, I found a pair of women’s panties that weren’t mine under my bed.

I know of at least one time he had another woman over while I was at work.

erinnbocks

73. Nothing's Happened

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I was out for my birthday with my husband. He went to the bathroom and left his phone. It rang, showing a name I had never heard him mention.

When he got back, I asked him who she was.

At the time, he had a really important job that caused him to work away a lot. Sometimes if he missed calls, he could get in trouble — so I just assumed she was someone he worked with.

His first response was, 'Nothing’s happened,' which told me that everything had happened.

He then confirmed he had cheated. Not only that but once, I managed to speak to the woman.

They were talking about renting a place together and getting a dog. His work took him away, and she was in the place he worked.

So, he had told her he was divorced, and she had no idea he was still married. She thought he was away for work.

This was the tip of the iceberg as I found out he was on multiple dating apps and had cheated multiple times. He then tried to blame it all on me and was vile.

Luckily, I managed to divorce him. Now, I am happily married to the most incredible man, and we are expecting our first child.

I thank the woman for calling that day... best birthday I could have asked for!

n75

74. Coworker Having Issues With Her Partner

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About six months after we got married, my ex started talking about a coworker who was having issues with her partner.

A few weeks later, he called to tell me she'd be staying at our house because her partner 'got violent.'

I wasn't happy about not being consulted, but I'm not gonna turn away someone experiencing domestic violence, so I let it slide.

My ex stayed up all night with her then got mad at me for being upset about it. This happened twice more — once while his parents were in town visiting.

He moved out right after that, claiming he needed 'space to work on his sobriety' (which is a whole different story, but he's definitely not sober).

A few weeks later — exactly one week after our first wedding anniversary —

I found a bunch of love notes she'd written to him, online reviews he'd written for hotels and a spa they'd gone to together, and that he was not actually staying with a friend.

I also discovered that her partner wasn't abusing her. He had actually moved out of state a while before because he found out she was cheating.

That's maybe the thing that upsets me the most because that was such a disgusting lie to tell.

I bagged ALL his s**t up and put it outside, cleaned out our joint account, told his entire family what he'd done, and moved on.

Two and a half years later, I'm happier and healthier than ever before.

ssketchator1

75. Pulled Over

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The idiot borrowed my car, took her out in it, and got pulled over for doing donuts in a cul-de-sac.

For some reason, the cops called me to give me a chance to come to get my car and wouldn't let her leave until I showed up!

grouchycomet10

76. Step Siblings

Media Source

I had a feeling but couldn't prove it at first. He was getting gas in towns we never went to. Lots of leaving in the middle of the night. Lots of gaslighting. One time, we had a charge from a florist, and I never received flowers.

He said he bought them for me, but I was being 'such a bitch' that he trashed them.

He even told me a sad sappy story about a 'friend' who had a baby and no help, so I bagged up whatever my baby had outgrown to give.

Then the home phone bill came, and, for some reason, it listed every call that month. There were over 265 outgoing phone calls in one month from our home phone to one number.

He also had a work cell and a burner phone — I discovered later — to contact her on.

When I called the phone number, I got her voicemail. And it was his co-worker. Who had just had a baby.

Several years later, and that child looks a lot like my own child. We divorced a few years after I found out.

Then the gates opened, and I learned the baby momma was only one of many.

justamwgirl

77. Gaslighted

Media Source

My ex used his Apple account to set up my son’s iPad. I was in the kitchen cleaning one evening, and my son — who was two — was sitting on the floor playing on the iPad.

He was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse when he clicked out and said, 'Mama, look!'

As a parent busy with chores, we don’t often look, and I said, 'Wow, buddy, that’s cool,' while still loading the dishwasher.

He walked over to me, pulled my pants, and said, 'Mama, daddy!'

I looked down to then see messages opened with my ex’s nudes — obviously sexting someone. I grabbed the iPad and scrolled through the messages.

It was his ex whom he had reconnected with via Facebook. I screenshot everything, sent it to my email on his account, then deleted the evidence and email.

Later on, I confronted him. After a very heated argument in which the police were called, my son and I left for my sister’s house.

My ex gaslighted me about everything, and his family came for my throat, saying they would help him get custody of my son.

So naturally and calmly, I posted every screenshot on Facebook and tagged him and his entire family in a public post.

sunnyp462c58602

78. Colleague Coincidence

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It so happened that the girl my husband was secretly seeing was also colleagues with a close friend of mine.

She was showing off photos of her new boyfriend to everyone in the office, so imagine my friend’s shock when she saw who it was.

She told another close friend — both were also my bridesmaids at my wedding —

and they both broke the news to me together, which I am forever grateful for because I know it’s not an easy conversation to have.

tester176

79. Nurse Call

Media Source

I had been feeling really uncomfortable and in pain *down there* for weeks. I ended up going to the doctor, who suspected I was having an ectopic pregnancy.

I was told to rush to the hospital to be checked out but no pregnancy. A week later, I got a call telling me I had chlamydia.

Given my apparent shock, the nurse said I 'probably needed to have a chat with my husband.'

Eventually, he admitted to sleeping with a prostitute at a well-known local brothel whilst I was working on the other side of the country — though he worked away almost every week, so I strongly suspect there were other instances!

He also confessed to being a compulsive masturbator and 'relieving himself' on a daily basis in the toilets at work.

The chlamydia was so well-established, it developed into Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. For years, I was worried it had left me infertile.

But the happy ending? My new husband (who is so sweet, kind, and loyal) and I are expecting a baby girl in a few months, so it all turned out perfectly in the end!

aprildenison

80. Like Jenna?

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I went to Houston for a job interview. When I called home, my then-husband was really distracted due to a party he was having. Anyway, two days later, I got home.

I was spending time with my four-year-old stepson. As I was holding him and telling him how much I loved him, he casually says, 'Like Jenna?'

I said, 'Who is Jenna?' My little stepson proceeded to tell me how daddy has this friend Jenna, who spent the night and told him and his older brother —

who was six at the time — that she loved them so much and looked forward to being their mommy.

We got home, I called my father-in-law told him I was leaving, filing for divorce, and the reasoning behind it all.

Never saw the kids that I loved again or the asshole! Changed my name back.

samantham4162a72e5

81. Running Back To Work

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He kept having to run back to work for something. For the longest time, I believed him.

One night, he said he had run to work and sign some reports that were overdue. Ok, fine.

He accidentally took my phone instead of his because we had similar cases. I didn’t realize it until the 'Did your wife let you leave yet?' text came through.

I texted back that he was on the way and asked if she could let him know that he grabbed my phone instead of his.

Her response, no joke, 'New phone, who dis?'

When he got home, he had this long, ridiculous story but ultimately was never smart enough to put a passcode on his phone or delete the old sexting and pics she had sent.

meaghandonahuem

82. Open Wrapper

Media Source

His grandfather developed dementia. We moved in to help take care of him. My husband didn’t have a job but would leave each day with a bookbag.

Long story short: I found condoms in the bookbag, and an open wrapper fell from his pants pocket when I was doing laundry.

To this day, he REFUSES to admit that he was cheating.

He even suggested that the wrapper came from his GRANDFATHER!

He lost my respect and his wife. BUT, we co-parent really well. We just don’t talk about the past.

smileyk

83. Grooming Social Media

Media Source

It turned out that it had been going on for two years. He'd been grooming his social media to look like he was a single father in the house that I'd bought.

He only planned on meeting up with her, having sex with her once (with a condom out of respect for me),

and then blocking her because I'd gained weight after having a kid and struggling with PPD.

I found out when my husband plugged his phone in to charge in the kitchen.

We'd spent the night celebrating a friend's birthday over Skype. I'd spent a couple of hours making a new recipe for dinner, as well as dessert.

I went out to get a cup of water around midnight after what I had considered a great night, especially during quarantine.

I saw his phone go off, and it was a message from an unsaved number saying. 'I love you, too.'

So, of course, I opened the message to find he'd been telling this woman that he'd had nothing but a corn dog for dinner and he missed her and loved her.

I went back to see an entire day's worth of messages, and then I confronted him.

k4eba25c65

84. Family Affair

Media Source

My mother-in-law told me my husband was cheating on me because everyone knew it — like everyone — except me!

He was away on a 'business trip' with his girlfriend, and I brought our kids over to my in-laws to see their new condo.

My mother-in-law couldn’t stand it anymore!

She said, 'He’s cheating on you.' It still took me a few minutes to comprehend.

My father-in-law was there, one of my brothers-in-law... It was a real family affair. 😂

Afterward, I took my kids to a hayride and pumpkin painting activity because it was just the three of us at home for the rest of the (long) weekend.

Post Script: I have been blissfully divorced for 10 years!

christenlemieuxc

85. Epileptic Shock

Media Source

My ex-husband is epileptic. After he had a seizure one night, he was out of it and pretty disoriented.

Before falling back asleep next to me — after I took care of him, gave him his meds, and wiped the drool from his face — he grabbed his phone, tapped something out, and then threw it directly behind him.

The phone landed face-up in my lap, showing a text to his mistress that said, 'I’m in love with you.'

Our divorce is final next week.

jessicahwright

What do you think? Red flag?

1. Proposal Gone Wrong

2. When The Trouble Started

3. Suspicious

4. Lab Grown

5. Thought She Wouldn't Care

6. His Reasoning

7. She Wouldn't Have Known

8. Exchange

9. Putting His Foot Down

10. Her Reaction

11. Worth Being Firm On

12. Reddit Responds

13. Bigger Fish To Fry

14. Possible Future Demands

15. Summary

16. Real Winner Here

17. At Least It Was Short

18. Awkward High School Date

19. Choked Again

20. Immediate "No Thank You"

21. Fetish

22. That Line Hurt Worse Than The Fracture

23. Mayonnaise

24. Weird Coworker

25. Violence Lover

26. Bizarre Blind Date

27. You'll Get Used To It

28. Who Asks That?

29. Olive Garden Encounter

30. Shoplifter

31. It Wound Up Working Out

32. The Biggest Of Yikes

33. What A Gentleman

34. Surprise Date

35. Noping Out

36. Cheap Date

37. Scary Place To Meet

38. From Formal To Gross

39. Next Top Model

40. False Advertising

41. Did He Not Know?

42. Show Interest In Them

43. Thank God

44. Still Figuring Out Who He Was

45. Check Please

46. Nuts

47. Feminist

48. Girlfriend?

49. That's... A Lot

50. Test

51. Literal Knife Dodged

52. Yikes

53. Boyfriend With Cancer

54. Do The Math

55. Misery Loves Company

56. Too Fast

57. It Could Have Been Her

58. Stopped Feeling Bad

59. Different Expectations

60. AC Guy

61. Cult

62. Asked Out At Work

63. Not Boyfriend Material

64. Gay Homophobe

65. Witness At Future Trial

66. Last One To Find Out

67. The Conversation

68. Trust Lost

69. App

70. When Was Your Last Pap Smear?

71. Mutual Exit Plan

72. Sending Pictures

73. Nothing's Happened

74. Coworker Having Issues With Her Partner

75. Pulled Over

76. Step Siblings

77. Gaslighted

78. Colleague Coincidence